From FOMO to Clarity: A MindShift for High Performers

There’s a familiar string of thoughts that can haunt even the most driven among us:

“I wish I did...”“I should’ve known...”“Why didn’t I...”

These aren’t just fleeting worries. They’re the voice of regret and if left unchecked, they can echo long after the moment has passed.

Supportive friends might chime in with, “Be positive,” or “Don’t be so hard on yourself.” While well-meaning, these responses often miss the mark. If you’ve ever been caught in the loop of “I could’ve done better,” then you know: regret and shame are more persistent than positivity.

The Hidden Regret in Success

We often associate regret with failure or loss. But it can also quietly show up in our wins. It sneaks into success with questions like:

“Was that really my best?” , “Did I miss a better way?” , “Could I have done more?”

This is where high-functioning anxiety, perfectionism, and even imposter syndrome weave themselves into the narrative. When left unchecked, they create a mindset that no success is ever enough.

Wanting to grow is healthy. But when that drive becomes relentless self-doubt, it starts to sabotage rather than support. This is the thorn on the rose of high performance: the constant pressure to optimize, improve, and never misstep.

Turning FOMO Into Fuel

Let’s look at FOMO—the Fear of Missing Out—not just as a social trend, but as a mental performance cue. It’s often a surface expression of regret and anxiety.

Here’s how to turn FOMO into a strategy for mental strength:

FOMO

F — Feel it

Ask yourself: Am I truly regret-free?

Regret is a normal emotion. Suppressing it doesn’t make it go away, it just makes it harder to recognize when it’s influencing your behavior. Left unattended, it shows up as overthinking, indecision, or self-sabotage.

O — Open up

Ask: Do I face similar moments with fear or hesitation? When we fear repeating mistakes, we hesitate or over-prepare. This may not be failure, it’s often camouflaged anxiety. Being curious rather than critical can shift how you respond to these patterns.

M — Mind hack

Ask: Are my habits helping or hurting?

All-or-nothing thinking (“I’ll never make that mistake again”) is common, but not always helpful. Instead, make micro-adjustments. Retrain your mind to see regret not as a flaw, but as data for growth.

O — Own it

Ask: What was within my control?I

t's easy to shift blame when things go sideways. But radical ownership, acknowledging your role, learning from it, and self-forgiving with intention—is what allows true performance resilience to emerge.

Regret isn’t just about the past. It’s a reflection of your values, your expectations, and sometimes your blind spots. And it doesn’t need to be a burden—it can be a bridge to deeper awareness.

By reframing FOMO through this lens, you’re not just managing regret. You’re rewiring your mental performance strategy from the inside out.

Curious about the difference between FOMO and JOMO (the joy of missing out)? Want deeper support shifting from regret to resilience?

Check in with Dr.V